


Build A Life With Me

by Quirkygirl775



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anger, Comfort, Cutesy, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Established Relationship, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Light Angst, Love, Marriage, Mistakes, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 01:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11025906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quirkygirl775/pseuds/Quirkygirl775
Summary: The reader worries that her boyfriend of 3 years, Spencer Reid, doesn't want to build a life with her and get married.





	Build A Life With Me

It was no secret that you and Spencer Reid were a happy couple. You'd been together for well over three years and had been through thick and thin together. The rest of the team had ongoing bets on when you would get engaged and who would propose to whom. 

Truthfully, you wondered why Spencer hadn't popped the question yet. It wasn't like you were in a rough patch in your relationship or anything, everything seemed to be going great. So what was the problem? You tried to put the thought out of your mind so you wouldn't start to obsess over it but it wasn't working. 

At the moment, you and the rest of the BAU were on the jet flying home after a long case. Morgan and Hotch were playing cards while JJ and Elle were doing paperwork. Spencer was working on a logic problem. You were staring out of the window, your thoughts focused around Spencer and marriage. 

What if he doesn't want to get married? The thought ran through your head. You stopped, thinking it over. Maybe he just doesn't want to marry you. Maybe this is a just a long-term fling for him. Maybe he didn't even want you anymore. You know that some of these thoughts are completely irrational, but they scared you nonetheless. 

You began to jiggle your leg, a telltale sign you were feeling anxious, as your mind raced. You wanted to marry Spencer. You knew that wholeheartedly. He was the one for you and you loved him unconditionally. You would say yes in a heartbeat if he asked. But what if it wasn't reciprocated? The two of you never really discussed marriage outright, but you both expressed a wanting to stay together for a long time. That could mean marriage, right? 

Spencer glanced up from his puzzle and looked at you, noticing your anxious 'ticks.' You'd started to twist the ring on your finger absentmindedly, another habit. He stood up and walked to where you were sitting before taking a seat next to you. He put a gentle hand on your shoulder. You stiffed immediately and he withdrew his hand. 

"Are you alright Y/N?" He asked softly. You just nod. "Are you sure? You're exhibiting most of your anxious behaviors and you look on edge...." He trailed off. 

"Spencer, I'm fine. Stop profiling me." You said tersely, an edge to your voice. You kept staring out of the window, not looking at Spencer at all. Had you been looking, you would have seen Spencer flinch and shrink back from you, hurt flashing in his eyes for a moment. 

"Okay." He said quietly before returning to his seat. Both JJ and Elle looked between you and Spencer, surprised at the interaction. 

"Did you see that?" JJ whispered. Elle nodded. 

"Do you think they had a fight or something?" JJ asked. Elle shrugged, uncertain. 

"I don't think so... they were fine before we got on the jet, and they haven't talked most of the flight..." Elle left her statement hanging. 

"Do you think we should go talk to her? Girl to girl?" JJ offered. Elle nodded. Both women stood up and walked over to where you were sitting. JJ took the seat next to you as Elle sat down directly across. 

You glanced at the women before looking back out of the window. "I'm fine." You say automatically. 

Elle scoffed. "Bullshit." You turned, raising an eyebrow at her. "You're lying." She insisted. 

You clenched your jaw, letting out a long breath through your nose. 

"Is everything alright with you and Spencer?" JJ asked gently. "I've never seen you brush him off like that..." 

"Did you have a fight or something of the sort?" Elle continued. 

"Will everyone just leave me alone?! I'm not a damn unsub, stop profiling me!" You shriek, lashing out. The team all looked at you, surprised at your outburst. Angry tears blurred your vision and you tried to blink them back with no avail. They started to drip down your cheeks and you wiped them away as fast as you could. 

Elle looked at you in worry, reaching across the aisle to put a hand on your leg. 

"Don't touch me." You mumbled, pulling your knees up to your chest. 

"Honey..." JJ started, concern lacing her voice. "Is it the case?" The case that you'd just finished was a nasty one, involving the abduction, torture, and eventual murder of young children. It had taken its toll on everyone. You shook your head, burying it between your knees as you curled up in the seat. Quiet sobs started to rack your body, your shoulders shaking. 

JJ and Elle shared a worried look. They had never seen you break down like this. Spencer watched you from his seat, worried that he'd done something to upset you and set you off. He wanted to comfort you, but he knew that it wasn't the best idea at the moment. 

"He doesn't want a life with me." You sob, feeling pathetic. "I'm not good enough and he doesn't want me." Elle kneeled down in front of you, while JJ wrapped an arm around you gently. 

"Spencer?" JJ said softly. You nod and Elle's eyes flick over to him. 

"What do you mean? Did he break up with you?" Elle asked. 

You shook your head. "N-No... but h-he obviously d-doesn't want to p-progress our relationship.... He t-thinks I w-would be an a-awful w-wife." You couldn't stop crying, all of your pent-up emotions from the past few months flowing out. JJ drew you closer, letting you lean your head on her shoulder as you cried. 

"Are you talking about marrying Spencer?" A tiny nod. "You think he doesn't want to marry you?" Another nod. "Why?" 

You looked up to meet Elle's gaze, your eyes red and puffy. "B-Because it's been over three years and he hasn't even mentioned anything about getting married! I-If he w-wanted to marry m-me, he would have asked by n-now. I'm obviously n-not good e-enough for h-him." You hiccuped. "He d-doesn't w-want me anymore." 

Both women's gazes softened. "Honey, you couldn't be farther from the truth.." JJ said quietly. 

"W-What?" You asked. 

"He's been carrying around a ring for six months at least." Elle said in a hushed whisper, glancing at Spencer to see him studying the three of you. 

"He's terrified to ask you." JJ added. "He... is worried about messing up or getting rejected. You know Spencer, he manages to psych himself out of any situation. He wants to marry you Y/N, you're his everything. He loves you so much and he would never want to leave you. He would never purposefully lead you on or hurt you." 

You listened to JJ talk and tried to process what she was saying. He actually wanted a life with you, as long as you both were alive. That thought alone made your heart race. You then remembered how nasty you were to Spencer and felt guilt flood your veins. You stood up and wiped your eyes, walking over to where Spencer was sitting. You needed to apologize for snapping at him, but you also needed reassurance. 

He glanced up and saw you, his glance immediately moving back to the floor. 

"H-Hi.." You said softly. 

"Hi." Spencer said quietly. "You've been crying." He noted. You nod.

"Yeah.." 

"Did I do something?" He asked, bringing his brown eyes up to meet yours. They held a mixture of guilt and concern with a hint of hurt. You felt your own guilt claw at your veins. 

"N-No... I'm sorry I snapped at you Spencer... I-I didn't mean t-to...." Spencer nodded. 

"It's alright... May I ask what upset you so much?" He asked carefully. 

"D-D-Do you..." You stop and take a deep breath. "Do you want a life with me?" The words tumbled out quickly. Spencer's eyes widened in shock. His mouth opened and closed, your question shocking him into silence. Several moments passed with silence stretching between you. Your face crumpled when he didn't answer. 

"O-Oh... I-I see..." You choke out, tears starting to spill again. Backing away from Spencer, you bring a hand up to your mouth to stifle a sob. 

JJ and Elle watched the encounter in shock. They were not expecting this. 

"Y/N..." Spencer said, reaching out for you. "Come here...." He opened his arms for you. 

You shake your head. "I-If you w-wanted to b-break up with m-me Spencer you s-should have j-just told m-me." You walked away from Spencer and returned to your seat before you completely fell apart. You knew it. He really didn't want you. You had been right. JJ held you as you broke down, trying to comfort you and stop your tears. 

Elle walked quickly over to Spencer, her anger evident. "What the hell Spencer?!" She hissed. He flinched at your tone and looked down. Elle let out a sigh and sat down next to him. 

"Do you know what you just did?" A shake of the head. "You just broke Y/N's heart." His shoulders drooped. "She was terrified that you didn't want her anymore and that you didn't want to marry her or build a life with her. She thinks that she isn't good enough and that you think she would be an awful wife. To console her, we mentioned the fact that you did want to marry her since you'd been carrying around that engagement ring for God knows how long." Spencer looked up at Elle, panic in his eyes. 

"You did what?" 

"You heard me, Reid. She came over here looking for reassurance that she wasn't worthless in your eyes and you crushed her. Why?" Spencer dropped his head into his hands. 

"I-I didn't know how to answer... I didn't want to ruin the surprise but she surprised me." He answered softly. Elle sighed. 

"Spencer...." 

"It was the wrong thing to do... I don't want to break up with her, I love her." Spencer's voice broke. "I want a life with her more than anything." 

"You need to tell her that." Elle said gently, putting her hand on Spencer's shoulder gently. Spencer nodded. 

"Thank you, Elle." 

"Of course Spence." Elle went back to her seat as the plane started its landing. You had fallen asleep on JJ, all of the crying and emotional turmoil exhausting you. 

Once the plane landed, JJ woke you up gently and you had practically bolted off of the plane, telling Hotch you would complete your paperwork tomorrow. Unfortunately, you and Spencer were living together so since he wanted to break up, you would be the one to leave. 

You rush to the shared apartment and unlock the door before hurriedly starting to pack your stuff into random boxes. You couldn't stand to see Spencer again, not after he'd broken your heart like he did. You had started to cry, the tears blurring your vision. You didn't hear the apartment door open, the signal that Spencer had returned. Spencer walked into the bedroom and his eyes widened. 

"Y/N...?" He asked. "W-What are you doing?" 

"You don't want me anymore... you made that obvious. So I'm leaving. That's what you wanted right?" Your voice broke right in the middle, and you made no move to wipe away the tears that were escaping. 

Spencer shook his head. "Don't go." He pleaded. "I don't want you to leave. I was stupid and didn't answer but I do want a life with you, I promise! I didn't realize JJ and Emily told you about the ring so I didn't want to ruin the surprise which was an idiotic move considering how upset you are and I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you so much and you're all that I have. Please, please don't leave me. I want to marry you so badly, please don't leave. I-I'll make it up to you, I-" You cut Spencer off by hugging him fiercely. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, bringing you closer to him. 

"Say that again." You mumbled, needing to hear it. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

"Say what?" 

"The part about marrying me. Say it again." Spencer's brows drew together in confusion. 

"I want to marry you... is that what you wanted to hear?" You nod, a sigh of relief slipping past your lips. 

"I thought you didn't want me... that you thought I wouldn't be a good wife..." You admit softly. Spencer's grip on you tightens. 

"It would be a privilege to marry you Y/N.. if anything I would let be a good enough husband..." He replied. You pulled back to look at Spencer, your eyes wide. 

"You would be an amazing husband Spencer.... " He gave you a small smile and you returned it. You pulled Spencer close again, burying your face into the crook of his neck. 

After several comfortable minutes, you voiced what was on your mind. "Does this mean you do want to build a life with me?" 

Spencer tilted your chin up so you looked each other in the eyes. "I want nothing more than to build a life with you Y/N." He answered honestly. You smiled warmly at him before pressing your lips to his. 

"I love you, Spencer Reid." You mumble against his lips. You could feel him smile. 

"And I love you Y/FN/LN." 

-fin-


End file.
